Co-Parenting Hell. That is honestly how I feel sometimes. It is so frustrating parenting a child whose parents have different parenting styles.
For instance, I’m freaking out about lil mama’s transition to Kindergarten and how I am going to leave work early to pick her up from school. I’m thinking ahead and worrying about next summer and how I am going to pay for summer camp. What about school vacations? I don’t have a support system. I have to worry about these things. And I don’t like handling situations last minute. I can’t afford to do that as a single mom. I plan as much as I can. Of course there are times when things come up unexpected, but I like to be as prepared as I can.
The co-parent in question is not worrying about it at all and getting frustrated that I’m going to him with all my worries. But I thought that we were CO-parenting? Thought we were both fully invested in making decisions about her. And sometimes I don’t think he could care less. Which thoroughly frustrates my life!! Grrrrr. I know that I can’t make him care about her transitioning to Kindergarten…and that’s because he doesn’t have to deal with it. He doesn’t have to deal with her getting up an hour earlier or if she is sick during the day. I’m the one who has to deal with it. I can’t make him care about her going to summer camp next year because I’m the one who would be filling out the paperwork and calling to find out more information. Because it doesn’t affect him directly he won’t have to drop her off or work more to cover the costs. I won’t wait around for him to care or want to be included. I would be wasting my life away.
So maybe he acts the way he does because HE KNOWS I am a capable parent. He knows that I will take care of it somehow. He knows that I will be there bright and early with her on her first day of Kindergarten snapping photos with tears in my eyes.
Maybe its me. Maybe I worry too much. Maybe I don’t know how to communicate with him. Maybe there are just too many past emotions still in play.
So how can I be ok with my role as a co-parent who basically has full responsibility of my child? Because in my head I’m screaming, this is not right, this is not right! This is his child as much as mine, but I have all the responsibility! Of course I wish I could just make this whole co-parenting situation disappear, but I am no magician. I’m just me.
Welcome! I'm Alex and I’m a Boston single mom to a sparkling 11 year old daughter and pregnant with my second, due in February 2017! :) I enjoy sharing a candid view of motherhood, single parenting, coparenting, new england culture, product reviews & more. Motivated by a life rich in unpredictability and countless opportunities I’m excited to share the beautiful and dirty moments of being a mom. Contact: alexandra (at) alexandra-elizabeth (dot)(com).