Posts Tagged ‘support’

Co-Parenting 101: Finding Your Own Tribe


My guest post on The Cubicle Chick

Over the past seven years, I’ve gone through the ultimate lows while engaged in a high conflict co-parenting relationship. Feelings of inadequacy, isolation, depression, and severe anxiety have plagued me the majority of the time. I only exacerbated the situation by shutting down physically and emotionally, at times feeling unable to process all that I was going through myself. A ball of fury at most times, ready to explode or break down at any moment; my emotional sanity drowning. Not able to process the feelings myself, I refused to talk with anyone about what I was going through and how it was affecting me. Scared that if I were to open my mouth and share my truth I wouldn’t be understood.

When you have to literally fight for your child, have to fight for what they deserve, in front of a stranger in a robe, it changes you. When you look at the father of your child and realize you don’t know him and never did, when he reminds you of your own deadbeat dad – it changes the person you are. I guess it only changes you if you let it. My experiences have hardened my already dense exterior. They don’t understand. They can’t understand. They don’t know my ex. They don’t know my struggle. This is what I told myself over and over and over again.

I grew up with a fierce sense of independence, which hasn’t made it comfortable for me to ask for help or open up to anyone. Even with my core group of friends, I found myself opening up and then instantly regretting it. Afraid that they’ll see too much of my mess. Afraid that I’ve exposed too much of myself. Afraid not of their reaction, but my inability to move past my own grief of a failed relationship. Grief that my daughter’s father will never be what she needs.

I didn’t value having a tribe for a long time. That fierce sense of independence got the best of me – I could do it all on my own. Or so I thought. I struggled for awhile finding my tribe – worried that my instincts were off and I would trust the wrong people, again. Finding your tribe and people you can open up too isn’t easy. I needed to find my tribe because I realized I couldn’t continue attempting to be a good mother or good friend without having emotional support, especially when I was in and out of court with my ex.

Read the rest of “Co-Parenting 101: Finding Your Own Tribe” over on The Cubicle Chick!


Comfort Plus Online & Caring for our Elders

One of my previous posts was from the wonderful Maya Angelou, and it was her response to getting older. I’ve always feared getting older, and it’s not something I enjoy talking about. I lost my grandfather four years ago this September; he was just shy of his 90th birthday. He was the first person close to me that I lost, and it has made me think a lot about growing older. And my mom, sigh. She has had various ailments through her adult life including brain surgery – twice, and most recently this year knee replacement surgery. I know sooner than later it’ll be me taking my mom in and caring for her. It’s terrifying to think that one day I may need someone to take care of me.

Through Comfort Plus Online I found out about a white paper The State of the Hispanic Caregiver. Being of mixed heritage, I always enjoy exploring both sides of my dna (Colombian & African American) and this white paper was a included a wealth of information. It stated that there are roughly 4,000,000 Hispanics over the age of 65 in the U.S. By 2050, elderly Hispanics share will almost triple to 17 percent from 6 percent in 2005. Of particular focus in the White Paper is the fact that 9 out of 10 caregivers interviewed cited that they need more information on a variety of caregiver topics and managing incontinence issues, was a top concern.

Enter ComfortPlusOnline a retailer that promotes Tranquility products, whose goal is to not only promote the best product on the market, but also provide the best services possible to help home care givers. Their website also provides useful caregiver informational resources. And, they are expanding their reach within the community with Comfort Plus Para Ti which provides bilingual access to those in need!

Many Hispanics in the US take care of aging family members at home, and as I think of who will look after me when I cannot alone, I think of my Mother and taking care of her when she needs help. It’s about family, it’s about sticking together during times of need and supporting each other, and ComfortPlus is making it easier for families to easily access the information they need.

Follow ComfortPlus on Twitter or Facebook today! While visiting their site be sure to take advantage of 10% off any case of tranquility products using the code LMB2012.

This is part of a compensated campaign with Latina Mom Bloggers and ComfortPlus Online. However, all opinions expressed are my own.



What I’ve learned about myself so far in 2012

I’m not one to make resolutions at the beginning of a New Year. But in doing self-reflection I knew that I wanted 2012 to be an even better year than 2011. I want this year to be a year of growth where I challenge myself more than ever before. Challenge myself to jump higher and run faster. To leap. To live with reckless abandon. To trust love. To trust myself. To not be afraid to push the limits.
And 25 days into the New Year I can say that I’ve done just that and have learned so much about myself in the process. It’s interesting how situations arise that test you, that test your strength and you have to make a decision. You can go run in a corner and choose to be consumed, or you can strap on your armor and stand with your feet firm. I have been tested, it’s even fair to say I’ve been an emotional roller-coaster (cue Vivian Green’s song) this year.
While I’ve never been one to back away from difficult situations, I usually become an introvert, secluded myself from the world and hidden in a shell. On the exterior seemingly calm and collective, but on the interior a ball of fire. I’ve gotten by like this, but as you can imagine it’s not the ideal situation. But recently I’ve realized that I don’t have all the answers, that when I’m being tested I don’t have to stand alone. I’ve never been comfortable asking for help or sharing a lot of personal information with others, but I realized I can’t carry this load on my own. And I’m glad to say that I was able to look around me and find amazing support from my friends and family these past few weeks. There were no questions, no judgment, just pure concern, encouragement, and love for me and lil mama. It’s been overwhelming and slightly uncomfortable to know that I’ve got so many remarkable people in my corner who truly believe in me and genuinely want what’s best for me and my family.
What I’ve learned 25 days into 2012 is I’m stronger than I think. That when I think I’m backed into a wall, I’m really not, I just have to change my perspective and find another way. That I’ve got an amazing support system that’s there for me no matter what.
That Still I Rise.