When I look in the mirror, I often don’t like what I see.
With ease I count my many imperfections. My flaws that make me uncomfortably vulnerable. I am my harshest critic and loudest cheerleader, but at times being a solo parent scares me…. a lot a lot. Can I do this?? I ask myself this at least once a day. The worry, the anxiety, the fear, the loneliness and joy that come with being a single parent are equally exhilarating and nerve-wracking. I have to constantly remind myself that it is my choice every single day to either allow myself to be victim to my vulnerabilities or face them head on with shaky hands. When I look at my daughter, when I see how her smile lights up the room I am reminded that maybe I don’t need to worry so much. She’s more than ok. She’s great. She’s a carefully crafted masterpiece and I am lucky to experience her joy and warmth on a daily basis.
When I doubt myself, which I often do, I have a hard time finding the good within my worries. I focus only on what I consider are imperfections but I’m learning that when I take are step back they aren’t imperfections at all. They are lessons. Lessons that must be learned.
I am the creator of my inner peace or inner turmoil. It’s up to me to decide who I will be. And I choose today and everyday regardless of my worries to rise above and see through my imperfections to the perfectly imperfect woman and mother I am growing to be.
It has been a difficult journey to cut myself some slack and allow myself the ability to make mistakes. They don’t define me. How I move past them does.
Be easy on yourselves single parents, it sure isn’t easy, but damn it’s worth it.