Single parent by choice?

Would you choose to be a single parent? I don’t know why but this question has been playing over and over in my head. It is my assumption that men and women who are single parents aren’t so by choice. As you can see from my previous post ‘baby mama’ I personally would not choose to be a single parent. I enjoy having a spouse and raising a child with someone.
I was doing some research on the topic online and found strong arguments favoring choosing to be a single parent while others thought those who chose to be single parents were out.of.their.mind. I can understand both sides, but wouldn’t choose to be a single parent. There are some people who choose to conceive or adopt children without having a spouse, significant other, boyfriend, or husband. Many of these women are financially stable and have the financial means to adequately provide for a child without needing the $$ support of a second income.
Those in favor of single parenting by choice understand that a women’s biological clock may have a timer and if they are unable to find a spouse then they’ll seek alternative methods to have a child. They believe that a woman or man has all the tools necessary to raise a smart kind child, all without the help of a spouse.
Those who oppose say that 1 person alone cannot properly raise a child. A child needs a mother and father; single parents cannot fill both roles. To try to do so would be a disservice to the child. Single headed households are poorer and less educated than those households with two adults.
So would you ever choose to be a single parent? Why or why not?
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9 Responses to “Single parent by choice?”

Her Momma says:

the thought has crossed my mind, to be honest. but i'm in my late 30s and a new mom to a 4.5 month old so yeah, prior to getting married and trying to conceive, i most definitely thought about adoption. but a thought and actually choosing to do it are two different things and when it came down to it, i dont think i could've done it – primarily for financial reasons.

Kenya Mack says:

I wouldn't choose to be a single parent. I believe it is in the best benefit of the child for both parents to be actively involved in their life. However, there are those of us who really have no choice in the matter. All I know is that I'm going to be the best single parent I can be. I'm also going to make sure that my child has everything they need and some of their wants. Furthermore, I'm going to make sure my child gets proper education. Good blog. 🙂

YUMMama says:

Of course I thought about being a single mom by choice. I had researched adoption and sperm donors. I don't think that being a single parent by choice is a disservice to children at all if you can provide them with healthy emotional and financial support. Now, if you can't raise a child by yourself and you know it, it would be irresponsible to try it.

lookin4you says:

HI, I am a single mother by choice, it has and will always be the best decision I ever made. Although I don't have a spouse my son has grandparents, aunts and uncles that play an active role in his every day life. Please see my blog if you want to know about my decision- I know for many it is impossible to understand- but for me it made sense, I don't want to get married to have a child, I want to get married for partnership and love (I am in NO WAY saying this is why people get married- it is just why some of my friend have gotten married and it bothered me!!). I plan on getting married someday (hopefully) and he will have the added benefit of being a father to my son as well!

Lua says:

I'm a married mommy, but I definitely can understand the choice to be a single parent. Parenthood is something you should do when you're ready, and if you're ready for children but heaven't met the right person you should still do it. (whether by adoption or insemination…i definitely support adoption.)

Lua says:

btw…I'm following from MBC young mommies 🙂

Mommy Glow says:

Love love love the feedback ladies. And I'm so glad there are responses from both sides! @lookin4you, we all have to do what is best for us and it shouldn't have to be what society tells us is correct or right. I'm glad you were able experience being a parent without needing to wait around for a spouse to come around…you could have been waiting around for a long long time. You and your child so so lucky to have a supportive support team in place, its so extremely important (in my head) when raising a child. Plus the child feels that love around her/him.

Mommy Glow says:

@hermomma-is adoption expensive? it's so hard financially raising a child solo. I struggle because I wish I could take her on vacation or get rid of my 96 camry and get a 06 camry 🙂 but we have to play the cards we were dealt. So I work hard to make sure sooner than later we'll be riding around in that 02 🙂

@yummama-same question…is adoption-sperm donation expensive? How old were you when you realized you wanted a child and could possibly be a Mom without a spouse?

@lua-thanks for stopping by! I'm a big supporter of adoption as well. My Mother and Uncle were both adopted, and it's so amazing that complete strangers will open their hearts and homes to a child.

K. Rock says:

I would never think about it. With 3 kids, I know that having children is something more suited for 2 people. Its hard work!! For a single parent, maybe the joys of parenthood would outweigh the bad days but it's not for me.

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