I recently read an article over on essence magazine’s website titled, “Is it harder for Black Moms” and I of course instantly began thinking about this issue. It’s not something I had ever considered before. That my race, my being a black mother, put me in another lane, another field, another planet. Then I dug a little deeper.
I gave birth to my daughter 4 days shy of my 20th birthday almost 5 years ago. I fit oh so many stereotypes. I was unwed. I was a minority. I was a teenage mother. What do the statistics say? That teenage mothers probably don’t finish their education. That black moms will end up on welfare and section 8. That I’d end up have 3 or 4 baby’s daddies. That I’d just end up being a broke baby mama. These are the messages that are around us.
Its sad, its disgusting, its discouraging, and it enrages me.
So is it harder for black moms? Is it harder for Spanish moms? Is it harder for Asian moms? Is it harder for white moms living in an inner city? Is it harder for black moms living in the suburbs? I mean, we could go on and on and on and on.
I could view my beautiful caramel skin tone as a disadvantage just as many others do. I could blame my complexion on the fact that I didn’t get that job. Could use it to reason why the cop in the store was eyeing me up and down. I mean, if we truly think we are at a disadvantage then won’t be?
I’m a huge huge believer that your future is what you make of it. While I cannot make people do what I want, I can change my reaction to people and situations. Instead of always jumping to conclusions and blaming my race, changing my perception will allow me to see the bigger picture not just what I see through my narrow lens.
I think we as a society need to start taking responsibility for ourselves and stop looking for someone or something to blame.
Welcome to Alexandra Elizabeth, A Single Mom’s Journey! I’m a Boston single mom to a sparkling 8 year old daughter working fulltime and trying to find ways to inject more calm into my hectic life. I give a candid view of motherhood, single parenting, coparenting, culture product reviews & more. Motivated by a life rich in unpredictability and countless opportunities I’m excited to share the beautiful and dirty moments of being a single mom. Contact: alexandra (at) alexandra-elizabeth (dot)(com).