Archive for the ‘Single Parenting’ Category

Celebrating Christmas As A Single Mom

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With Christmas just 22 days away, I feel an unusual sense of calm this year. This will be my sixth Christmas as a single mom, and I think I’ve finally gotten to a stable place in my life where I can balance the additional bells and whistles of Christmas with everyday life. And I’ve learned not to expect anyone else, even my co-parent to step up and participate during the holiday season.

I look at my life now – a full-time job, a college degree, a nice apartment in a good city, Christmas presents hiding out in my closet…and I get goosebumps. Things but a few years ago weren’t so seemingly put together.

Being a single parent has required me to be extremely creative during the holidays, even to get the most basic of items. I watch every dollar that comes in, and now paying my student loans off there hasn’t always been a lot, if any, extra funds to spend during the holidays.

I didn’t grow up with a lavish Christmas; it was the opposite in our house. With four kids, and often foster kids, a single mom working at times with two jobs, we were happy for what we had at the end of the day – each other. And when I became a mom there was a sense of excitement to have an extravagant Christmas, for her Dad and I to really provide for her what we didn’t have ourselves. And then I struggled being a single mom and that dream seemed further from my grasp.

Read the rest of Celebrating Christmas As A Single Mom over at The Young Mommy Life.



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Single Mom Not Seeking this Valentine’s Day

Please let me preface this post by saying I am not a bitter man-hating woman, I don’t curse happy couples on V-Day. I was not recently burned and looking for revenge. I’m just a woman and mom giving her two sense in on 2.14.

It’s cute. From the freshly trimmed bouquets of flowers, to neatly wrapped boxes of chocolate, to plush singing teddy bears, to mushy cards, Valentine’s Day is truly a cutesy day. Supposed to be a day where lovers unite to rekindle their love over expensive dinners and bottles of wine. Where lovers who have gone astray once again remember the love they shared. A chance to spoil your Valentine and show them how much they mean to you. It all sounds GREAT, doesn’t it? It sure does! But, not for this single mama.

Regardless of if I’ve been in a relationship or not, 2/14 has never been my cup of tea, or box of chocolates (haha). I’ve never been able to fully wrap my head around a day dedicated to showing love and affection to those that live within your heart. Just like with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I’m a big believer in consistently letting people in your life know you care about them, at every opportunity you get. Maybe this stems from my not being as affectionate with my Grandfather as I wanted to be before he passed. But this day full of drawn out love songs and pink and red hearts kind of just gets on my nerves, as a woman and single mama.

Yes, I’m a single mama, and damn proud of the life I’m building for myself and my daughter. But, riddle me this, why do some think that because I don’t depend on a man, live with a man, have a man on my arm, mean that I MUST be unhappy and bitter and lonely. It MUST mean that I’m on the prowl desperately searching for some arm candy to open the door, buy me dinner, and some chocolate covered strawberries?

In the words of my new friend via YouTube, Sweet Brown:

Do I want to eventually a forever kind of love? A partner to romance and share life’s beautiful memories with? A loving father and husband to grow old with? Hell-to-the-yes!! TRUE LOVE is a beautiful beautiful thing!! However, as a woman with dignity, I refuse to be sucked into believing that because I am single and not seeking on Valentine’s Day means that I’ve got my priorities all messed up and backwards.

So Valentine’s Day, you can keep your sweetheart candies, red artificial lollipops, and overpriced Valentine’s cards. This single mom is happily not seeking this year, and is oh so very content with me, myself, and I!



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I. Shall. Not. Break.

Alexandra’s ramblings…

And it is as if I am unknown…to myself. In an instant I remember her. Gracefully progressing. With the smooth delivery of her words she inspires. Her sturdy smile a perfect complement to the sparkle in her eye, she exudes strength with incredible ease. She’s a warrior, a solider. Unwilling to be shackled, she looks to her past with warmth and acceptance. Forgiveness and fairness she lives by every day.

I can see her. I extend my arms to her. I reach. And reach. But am unable to feel the cool touch of her upon my fingertips.

She is me. I am her. Though she is trapped within me, urging, fighting, screaming to live.

I must give it up to myself; I have the most amazing way of throwing myself in a corner, unwilling to accept anything other than one specific ideal. My thought process allows for only one way, there are no options. I’ve morphed into someone unfamiliar these past few months, which have me wondering, searching for the beauty I once possessed. A beauty seen in my face, heard in my laughter.

There is nothing fiercer than being at odds with yourself. To go about your day on shaky ground, second guessing you’re every move, constantly anxious and fearful. Waking up in the middle of the night scared, worried.

I have been tested, I have been defeated. And again with some unknown reserve of endurance I lift myself up. Will I break? Is it just a matter of when? Give yourself a break… You’re doing a great job… they say, but in one ear out the other it goes. Means nothing if I cannot accept these words as fact.

This blog, these words, are my thoughts in its purest most organic form. As I have said before I write to heal – to understand the many swirling thoughts in my head. To better understand why this 26 year old single mom, college grad, independent working Mom can’t give herself a damn break already. To understand why the hell I create these ridiculous expectations of myself. To understand why I feel like I am going to crumble and b r e  a   k.



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What’s been keeping me up at night

Well aside from my insomnia and sleep apnea….coparenting. Yes another post on coparenting from me. Co-parenting has always been something I have struggled with being a single parent. This past year has been an incredibly tough year for me and my co-parent and his relationship with our daughter. Our daughter is old enough now where she is severely affected when he is not around when he says he is going to be. Watching my daughter’s big brown eyes peer out the window waiting impatiently for her Dad, and him never showing up has shattered my heart into pieces. His previous absence and inconsistency really affected her, and as her Mother, I of course want to protect her and don’t want to see her hurting. 

I wrote a post titled What Scares Me About Co-Parenting, it was a very honest post about my concerns with this our usually dysfunctional co-parenting relationship. From the post: I am afraid that my daughter will grow up not trusting men. I fear every time she asks where her Daddy is.I fear that our daughter will resent me because I’m the tough parent and he’s the fun parent (when he’s around). I fear that she will grow up to be me. A worried child who felt like her Daddy didn’t love her. Because if he did he would surely want to spend time with me. He’d want to come around on birthdays, at my high school graduation, at the birth of my child. 

I’m glad I’m taking the time to be mindful of all these issues, but at the end of the day, she has me, and if I can say so, she’s pretty damn lucky to have such a passionate and loving mother. I can’t change her father; all I can do is keep the line of communication open with our daughter so she’s comfortable enough to have conversations about how she’s feeling. And we’ve had a few so far, they haven’t been easy for me, but they are important to have. It’s important to respect her feelings. This situation is difficult for her as well, and she needs to be able to have a voice. So while all these worries consume me at night, when I peek in her room and see her peacefully sleeping tangled between her favorite pillows, one foot hanging off the bed and snoring, I take a small comfort in knowing that I’m enough. 


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Why do I blog anyway??

For new (thank you!) and returning (thank you!) visitors to the blog, I hope you have all had a chance to check out my *About Me* page. I started this blog about two years ago, and since then my voice has grown and matured. I have embraced the growth but it also has me wondering about the future of the blog and wondering more and more about if what I’m writing about is appealing to others.
So, why do I blog anyway? In a nutshell I feel like I have too. I need a place to unload. I am driven by emotions, and this blog is my virtual diary. I have spilled out my thoughts, my happiness, my sorrow into my posts. Blogging is therapeutic, it’s enlightening. The support I have received is so much more than I ever could have anticipated, and I’ve made some amazing friends through the blogosphere. I have a voice and I understand the power of a voice, and I want to share my voice and continue to make connections with other bloggers and create a safe and inviting space for people to come, share, unload, and feel supported.
As I think about the future of my blog (no I’m not going to stop writing!) I remember why I chose to blog in the first place, and it all started with a name. Mommy Glow. Becoming a parent has been the most…wonderful-delightful-lovely thing to ever have happened to me. Being a single parent has spoiled me, as I have my daughter all to myself most days. Our bond is unbreakable, even at 6 years old she still has separation anxiety. And at 26 I too, suffer from separation anxiety from my daughter. Being her parent has opened me up to the world, and I am so grateful for all the experiences I’ve been through since being a Mom. They have helped shape me and have made me wiser, smarter. She has provided warmth in my life that carries me wherever I go, hence Mommy Glow. So this is why I blog and I hope to those that read my posts and have followed my journey have felt inspired and engaged along the way. :)
For my fellow bloggers: why do you blog? What keeps you going and motivated?
Love and Light.


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