Archive for the ‘Single Parenting’ Category

Celebrating Christmas As A Single Mom


With Christmas just 22 days away, I feel an unusual sense of calm this year. This will be my sixth Christmas as a single mom, and I think I’ve finally gotten to a stable place in my life where I can balance the additional bells and whistles of Christmas with everyday life. And I’ve learned not to expect anyone else, even my co-parent to step up and participate during the holiday season.

I look at my life now – a full-time job, a college degree, a nice apartment in a good city, Christmas presents hiding out in my closet…and I get goosebumps. Things but a few years ago weren’t so seemingly put together.

Being a single parent has required me to be extremely creative during the holidays, even to get the most basic of items. I watch every dollar that comes in, and now paying my student loans off there hasn’t always been a lot, if any, extra funds to spend during the holidays.

I didn’t grow up with a lavish Christmas; it was the opposite in our house. With four kids, and often foster kids, a single mom working at times with two jobs, we were happy for what we had at the end of the day – each other. And when I became a mom there was a sense of excitement to have an extravagant Christmas, for her Dad and I to really provide for her what we didn’t have ourselves. And then I struggled being a single mom and that dream seemed further from my grasp.

Read the rest of Celebrating Christmas As A Single Mom over at The Young Mommy Life.


Single Mom Not Seeking this Valentine’s Day

Please let me preface this post by saying I am not a bitter man-hating woman, I don’t curse happy couples on V-Day. I was not recently burned and looking for revenge. I’m just a woman and mom giving her two sense in on 2.14.

It’s cute. From the freshly trimmed bouquets of flowers, to neatly wrapped boxes of chocolate, to plush singing teddy bears, to mushy cards, Valentine’s Day is truly a cutesy day. Supposed to be a day where lovers unite to rekindle their love over expensive dinners and bottles of wine. Where lovers who have gone astray once again remember the love they shared. A chance to spoil your Valentine and show them how much they mean to you. It all sounds GREAT, doesn’t it? It sure does! But, not for this single mama.

Regardless of if I’ve been in a relationship or not, 2/14 has never been my cup of tea, or box of chocolates (haha). I’ve never been able to fully wrap my head around a day dedicated to showing love and affection to those that live within your heart. Just like with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I’m a big believer in consistently letting people in your life know you care about them, at every opportunity you get. Maybe this stems from my not being as affectionate with my Grandfather as I wanted to be before he passed. But this day full of drawn out love songs and pink and red hearts kind of just gets on my nerves, as a woman and single mama.

Yes, I’m a single mama, and damn proud of the life I’m building for myself and my daughter. But, riddle me this, why do some think that because I don’t depend on a man, live with a man, have a man on my arm, mean that I MUST be unhappy and bitter and lonely. It MUST mean that I’m on the prowl desperately searching for some arm candy to open the door, buy me dinner, and some chocolate covered strawberries?

In the words of my new friend via YouTube, Sweet Brown:

Do I want to eventually a forever kind of love? A partner to romance and share life’s beautiful memories with? A loving father and husband to grow old with? Hell-to-the-yes!! TRUE LOVE is a beautiful beautiful thing!! However, as a woman with dignity, I refuse to be sucked into believing that because I am single and not seeking on Valentine’s Day means that I’ve got my priorities all messed up and backwards.

So Valentine’s Day, you can keep your sweetheart candies, red artificial lollipops, and overpriced Valentine’s cards. This single mom is happily not seeking this year, and is oh so very content with me, myself, and I!


I. Shall. Not. Break.

Alexandra’s ramblings…

And it is as if I am unknown…to myself. In an instant I remember her. Gracefully progressing. With the smooth delivery of her words she inspires. Her sturdy smile a perfect complement to the sparkle in her eye, she exudes strength with incredible ease. She’s a warrior, a solider. Unwilling to be shackled, she looks to her past with warmth and acceptance. Forgiveness and fairness she lives by every day.

I can see her. I extend my arms to her. I reach. And reach. But am unable to feel the cool touch of her upon my fingertips.

She is me. I am her. Though she is trapped within me, urging, fighting, screaming to live.

I must give it up to myself; I have the most amazing way of throwing myself in a corner, unwilling to accept anything other than one specific ideal. My thought process allows for only one way, there are no options. I’ve morphed into someone unfamiliar these past few months, which have me wondering, searching for the beauty I once possessed. A beauty seen in my face, heard in my laughter.

There is nothing fiercer than being at odds with yourself. To go about your day on shaky ground, second guessing you’re every move, constantly anxious and fearful. Waking up in the middle of the night scared, worried.

I have been tested, I have been defeated. And again with some unknown reserve of endurance I lift myself up. Will I break? Is it just a matter of when? Give yourself a break… You’re doing a great job… they say, but in one ear out the other it goes. Means nothing if I cannot accept these words as fact.

This blog, these words, are my thoughts in its purest most organic form. As I have said before I write to heal – to understand the many swirling thoughts in my head. To better understand why this 26 year old single mom, college grad, independent working Mom can’t give herself a damn break already. To understand why the hell I create these ridiculous expectations of myself. To understand why I feel like I am going to crumble and b r e  a   k.