The #DayofLight: Bringing Depression Out of the Dark is a movement aimed at bringing awareness to depression. Today those who have struggled with depression share their experiences and resources and stand together.

This is my story:

I can’t remember how old I was, maybe 7, when I witnessed my mother’s depression suffocate her.

I was only able to glance into her room, her brown body still in the bed, before the ambulance came. Though she survived, we never talked about what happened that day, but I knew. As the youngest of four I was often shielded from the dark realities of my single mother’s struggle to survive and her battles with depression. At that young of an age I didn’t understand why she acted the way she did – why she was cold, mean, unable to show me deep affection, why she prioritized her boyfriend over her children. And I realize now that my own battle with depression began through witnessing my mother’s struggle.

I didn’t need a medical provider to tell me that what I was feeling was more than an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I knew that the feelings that were taking over me were much deeper and scarier than just being sad.

Growing up we didn’t discuss feelings. My mother’s goal was to raise strong independent black children. We would grow up and soar and fly without needing help – without showing fear. When we didn’t act accordingly, there were severe consequences. So when these dark feelings grew within me, I acted as I was taught. I hid them, concealed them, kept moving forward with a smile on my face. Because showing any kind of weakness, especially as a black woman was unacceptable.

So I moved forward, on the outside a shining image of a strong single mother, helpful, attentive, outgoing, and happy. I gave all that I had to making other people happy that I had nothing left for myself. When I’d get home and peel off that mask, and looked at myself in the mirror I hated who I saw staring back at me. She was weak. She was fragile. She was suffering. She was fat. She was ugly. She couldn’t do anything right. I mean who would get pregnant at 19 with someone who didn’t even love her? Who would seek out men’s affection because she had never felt real love from her parents? Who would consider self-harm as an answer? Someone weak.

I hid my depression and later my anxiety attacks from everyone. No one knew that I was leading a double life. I couldn’t let the truth escape because I didn’t want to show how vulnerable and scared I was. I didn’t want people to think I was a basket case. I wanted people to believe that I was fine, that everything was just great. That that smile I wore during the day carried on at home. I had to conceal the truth. No one could know that I would sometimes spend weekends in bed crying thinking about death. No one could know that I’d drink myself into a stupor just so I could stop feeling so damn much. No one could know that I didn’t find pleasure in anything anymore. No one could know that I thought I’d be better off not being here.

Read the rest of “Learning to Love Yourself While Battling Depression #DayofLight” over on The Young Mommy Life.

As many parents, my heart grow ten times in size when I gave birth to my precious little baby girl seven years ago. She is literally part of my heart detached from my body, she is the most amazing little person. Ever. As her primary caretaker I am there to help her, teach her, encourage her, and console her.

Since she was 6 months old she has been in a form of daycare or schooling as I’ve had to work and up until last year work and attend school. While her being around kids for so long has built up her immunity, it has also led to many runny noses, many fevers, and coughs and colds. I try my best to be proactive during these colder months, but it’s inevitable that she’ll get sick.

When she does I’m right by her side nursing her back to good health. What makes my princess feel better? In our house it isn’t a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup or tea. Like most kids, she wants to snuggle up with Mom, and loves the extra time we spend together. I share stories with her from her childhood, funny things she used to say and do, and we look at picutres of her as a child. And oddly enough this is part of the healing process for her. It’s the cutest thing. Ever. We also swear by Kleenex products, as they are reliable and soft on her little nose. Their care pack is a great gift to someone not feeling the best, and is like a dose of get well in a box!

I’ve shared what works to help nurse my little girl back to good health, and I’d love to hear what works for you and your family! In addition, you can win a Kleenex Share Pack – a large box of their tissue brand! Entering this giveaway is easy enough – the mandatory entry is to leave a comment describing what works to help nurse your loved ones back to good health. You can earn an extra entry by liking the blog’s Facebook page, please leave that in a separate comment. This giveaway is open to US residents only and ends on Monday December 10^th at 4pm!

This post is sponsored in collaboration with Kleenex and Latina Bloggers Connect. All the opinions expressed here are my own.

Last week I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Blog Her conference in the heart of The Big Apple – more on that in another post. The highlight of my time in NYC wasn’t the conference surprisingly, but rather a party before the event, the Stiletto Media Kick Off Your Heels Event at Pio Pio Restaurant.

I’ve been part of the Stiletto Media (#SMlatinas) group for awhile now, and was so so excited to meet some of the ladies I communicate with regularly through social media in person!! The event was an opportunity for us to network, make new friends, and celebrate being latinalicious bloggers!

In addition to endless Sangria, delectable hors d’oeuvres, and glitter tattoos there was friendship. I met Migdalia the powerhouse of Stiletto and fellow single mom, Lourdes a friendly latina who made me get my first glass of Sangria, instantly clicked with Gloria another former teen mom, Sili my silly Sili with an electric smile, super friendly Maria who welcomed me in with a warm hug, Rachelwho was just too cool for school, beautiful Heiddi & super sweet Eileen!! Along with many more, we posed, we drank, we laughed, and most importantly we supported each other.

Listen, getting a group of opinionated ladies together doesn’t always end well. But in this instance, in this atmosphere, we were one big latina family. There was no pressure, no cattiness, there was acceptance. I’ve struggled for a long time figuring out where I fit in, there was no doubt I was supposed to attend this #SMlatinas party and meet the wonderful ladies that I did.

In my busy day to day life I don’t give myself the opportunity to kick back and enjoy with friends, and I’m so glad I did. I brought out the hot pink dress (representing Stiletto!) and the heels for this event! The pictures just begin to tell a story of the fun we had, it was truly a night to remember.

Me & Gloria of Teen Mom NYC

HUGE thanks to our generous sponsors Sweet Pickles Books, HP, COVERGIRL, Avocados from Mexico, and Glitter Tattoo NY for supplying us with awesome goodies to take home!! Many thanks to the photographers, videographers and Migdalia’s oldest son Karl for taking snapping great pictures of us throughout the night!

Stiletto Media is an amazing sisterhood connecting influential latina bloggers with creative voices and experiences. If you are interested in joining this sisterhood please visit Stiletto Media, and be sure to connect with us through Twitter by using the hashtag #SMlatinas

Disclosure: As a member of the Stiletto Media Blogger Network, my trip to the VIP Latina Blogger Event was sponsored, but as always, my thoughts and words are my own.

I was so excited to launch the new blog and post some new kick-a** content and then BOOM life got real. In a matter of a week I somehow worked 70 hours, helped pull off a 360 gala at a swanky hotel, and went through some medical ish that had me in the hospital for 7 hours the night/morning before my huge event. I only got 1.5 hours of sleep that night *gulp*. Don’t ask me how I did it; don’t ask me how I survived. I felt terribly guilty working so much and had to rely on family and friends to help with my daughter, who missed me and wondered when I was going to be home.

I was thisclose to walking out of work many days last week, the pressure and stress got to me. I wasn’t able to think straight or be creative. Thursday night I got home a little after midnight from my gala event, I checked in on my daughter snoring loudly, went back into the kitchen and wept in my boyfriend’s arms. I didn’t say surviving was easy. I try so so hard to hold it all together, but last week proved that there are cracks in my armor…and that’s ok. I have to cut myself some slack, we’ve all got to give ourselves more credit for all that we do, and how hard we grind for ourselves and our families.

Life is still a ball of crazy but I’m able to see better this week, and I’m taking it slower, cutting myself some slack, and patting myself on the back. Somehow, someway I get up every morning and put my best foot forward as a mother, woman, and employee.

Shoot, I’m doing better than surviving. I’m living.