Archive for December, 2011

Wordless Wednesday


What we can learn from the Grinch

“And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”


My daughter and I have already watched the Grinch (the original & Jim Carrey’s version) about six or seven times already this December. I think there is much to be learned from the Grinch’s story and Cindy Loo Hoo, who despite the community’s fear and disgust with the Grinch, decided that he wasn’t so different from them all after all.
I love the passage above the most from the book, for me it’s a friendly reminder of what the holidays, and Christmas is all about. As a young professional and single mother, the holidays are extremely stressful and I worry about money and being able to get my daughter a few nice things. And then there are my nieces. And my sisters. And my Mom. And my co-workers. And a few close friends. Ahhh!! It’s overwhelming because I like to give meaningful nice gifts to those I care about…and they often carry hefty price tags. And every year I end up in debt over the holidays, regardless of the budget I create for myself. It’s easy to get caught up in the holidays, and I’m guilty of forgetting what the holidays really mean to me and my family. My daughter and I spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, just the two of us, making cookies and watching movies, and dancing of course. And it’s those moments: setting out cookies and milk for Santa, and when I tuck her in to bed Christmas Eve night that reminds me of what Christmas is all about.
I often doubt my ability to provide for all my daughter’s needs and wants being a single mom. I’m spread t-h-i-n and I have to sacrifice on a daily basis. Christmas isn’t about the gifts; it isn’t about shopping till I drop. It’s about the memories, it’s about love. Under the tree will be full, heck my whole house will be full of Christmas spirit this year because I am blessed; I have a beautiful, happy, kind, healthy child who I am crazy about. She inspires me, she makes me laugh, and she may be the wisest person I know. She is my gift every single day. And that’s not something you can buy in a store.

Happy Holidays from our hearts to yours


How to Talk to Little Girls

A friend of mine, who is a mother of 2 daughters, forwarded me this article titled How to Talk to Little Girls featured in The Huffington Post. The article by Lisa Bloom talks about girls & self image and how we as parents and adults play into girl’s self-esteem. Think for a second about your encounters with girls, do you comment on their hair or outfit? Are you quick to tell them how cute they are? (slumps down in seat).
Lisa says, “Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal”
Not good!! The article was enlightening to me; it made me take a hard look at how I interact with my own daughter as well as little girls I come across. I realize that I often comment little girls on their new haircut or sparkly tights. And while I never saw anything wrong with it, I am becoming more aware of how these constant comments can affect a girl’s self-esteem and expectations.
My friend Marlene who forwarded me the article had this to say after reading:
“It really opened my eyes to how I interact with my girls and other young children their age. I mean I am definitely one of those people that use compliments as an ice breaker with kids like “wow, you look beautiful in that dress” and even with boys “he look so handsome in that outfit” etc. And I also thought showering my girls with compliments like these would build their self confidence, but it’s actually counter-productive because now thinking back I can recall instances where my own daughter would get dressed and ask ‘Mom, do I look pretty in this dress?, Does my hair look nice like this?’ I always say of course you look great no matter what…..BUT now I realize that she was seeking my approval. I want my girls’ self confidence to be based on who they are and what they know and not how they look. I guess all we can do I acknowledge this and try to break the cycle. At least I do.”
This article made me think of a previous post of mine titled Does this diaper make my butt look big. In the article I talked about the poison that are Bratz dolls and how more and more kids are concerned with their image, when they should just be concerned about being kids! Raising a healthy and confident daughter is extremely important to me, and I know that in order to achieve this it takes a lot of patience and conversations with her. Though it seems that society is completely against my desires, promoting the complete opposite of role-models and putting so much pressure onto image.
Did you read the article by Lisa Bloom? How do you counteract society’s fascination with image when interacting with your own daughter or girls you may know?