Archive for May, 2010

life purpose

What’s your life purpose?

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? I took a class last year that helped me think about this quite complex question. Through the following exercise we were able to help understand what our purpose was.

I often find myself drifting. I’m overworked and so always stressing that I forget to think about my goals. I’m just moving through the motions of life, almost like a robot. It’s not something I’m proud of, but at least I acknowledge it. This exercise was huge for me. I mean in my head I knew what I wanted to do when I grow up, I knew what group of people I want to help, and I know that I want to change the world.
But seeing the words on paper. Reading it out loud…it then suddenly came to life. It gave me goosebumps.

My life came to life.

Here are the steps, and be sure to take your time when coming up with the answer. and know that there is no right answer. This is YOUR life purpose.

1. List two of your unique personal traits

2. List one or two ways you enjoy expressing those qualities when interacting with others

3. Assume the world is perfect right now. What does the world look like? How is everyone interacting with everyone else? What does it feel like? Write your answer in a statement, in the present tense, describing the ultimate condition, the perfect world as you see it and feel it. Remember, a perfect world is a fun place to live.

4. Combine the prior three subdivisions into a single statement.

My combined statement is:
My purpose is to use my determination and diligence to inspire and motivate others to support each other, love freely, and become a part of their community.

So have fun with this exercise, and let me know what you come up with!!


love sum Cute Beltz!

A few months ago I took the plunge…and joined twitter (find me: YoungFabMama) and I was instantly greeted by other lovely and spectacular women. I was able to connect with Kristen Ford-Stevens, owner and designer extraordinaire of Cute Beltz, an online boutique child belt store.

Kristen so graciously sent me a beautiful belt to review for all my wonderful FABtastic viewers! And let me tell you, I am beyond pleased with Kristen, Cute Beltz, and the belt we received! Let’s take this step by step.

1 – Packaging -> The belt didn’t arrive in your standard plastic wrap. Nope! Not at Cute Beltz. Our belt came in a beautiful little box, like a special surprise! I waited until my daughter came home and we opened it together, which she thoroughly enjoyed!
 2 – Style -> My daughter changes about…5 times a day. Style is important to her J The belt we received had a beautiful flower design that lil mama fell in love with. Literally! After she wore it to school, she then brought it with her in her bag to school. She is a bit of a showoff. And now she wants to wear it with every outfit. She is now even more excited about getting dressed in the morning and the belt adds a great touch to her outfits!

3 – Durability -> Some of the belts I have received in the past have tattered due to poor construction. This is not the case here. The belt is durable, it’s sturdy, and seems like it will withstand 4 year old grabby hands! The quality of the material, 1” 100% cotton webbing, and fabric shows and as a Mom I appreciate the durability and longevity of the belt.
4 – Coupon -> Our special flower belt was amazing, but that wasn’t all we got! Included in our package was a coupon. HOORAY! I love love love coupons, hehe. I have promised lil mama that once she sleeps in her bed for a whole month we can together order her a new belt.
I love the variety of fabrics Cute Beltz offers, and they have equally fabtastic belts for lil guys too! Belts are $14.95 and come in an array of great designs. From the chocolate raspberry to the tutti fruitti to the sand-and-sea belts, you are bound to find 1…or 2 belts to add to your childs wardrobe!
With each belt you have the option of choosing a D-ring or Velcro closing. And oh, the gift sets!! For just $25.99 you can receive a beautiful gift set that includes a cute belt along with a bracelet that compliments the belt! It’s a great addition to an outfit or gift for that lil lady in your life!   
I am so happy I was able to connect with Kristen and find out more about Cute Beltz, and I hope you all check out all the fabtastic and oh-so-stylish belts on their website!!
Join the mailing list,
Follow CuteBeltz on twitter –
Join our Facebook Group,


I give you back

While doing my homework last night I came across this emotionally awakening poem by Joy Harjo that I had to share with you all. It awoke my emotional senses and after reading Joy’s poem I feel different. I hope to one day be able to share and  show my feelings like Joy does with this poem. Enjoy.

I Give You Back
By Joy Harjo
I release you, my beautiful and terrible fear.
I release you.
You were my beloved and hated twin, but now, I don
t know you as myself.
I release you with all the pain I would know at the death of my daughters.
You are not my blood anymore.
I give you back to the white soldiers
who burned down my home, beheaded my children,
raped and sodomized my brothers and sisters.
I give you back to those who stole the food from
our plates when we were starving.
I release you, fear, because you hold these scenes
in front of me and I was born with eyes that can never close.
I release you, fear, so you can no longer keep me naked
and frozen in the winter, or smothered under blankets in the summer.
I release you
I release you
I release you
I release you
I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved,

to be loved, to be loved, fear.
Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.

You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.
I take myself back, fear.

You are not my shadow any longer.
I won
t hold you in my hands.
You can
t live in my eyes, my ears, my voice my belly, or in my heart
my heart my heart my heart.
But come here, fear.

I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.


Single parent by choice?

Would you choose to be a single parent? I don’t know why but this question has been playing over and over in my head. It is my assumption that men and women who are single parents aren’t so by choice. As you can see from my previous post ‘baby mama’ I personally would not choose to be a single parent. I enjoy having a spouse and raising a child with someone.
I was doing some research on the topic online and found strong arguments favoring choosing to be a single parent while others thought those who chose to be single parents were out.of.their.mind. I can understand both sides, but wouldn’t choose to be a single parent. There are some people who choose to conceive or adopt children without having a spouse, significant other, boyfriend, or husband. Many of these women are financially stable and have the financial means to adequately provide for a child without needing the $$ support of a second income.
Those in favor of single parenting by choice understand that a women’s biological clock may have a timer and if they are unable to find a spouse then they’ll seek alternative methods to have a child. They believe that a woman or man has all the tools necessary to raise a smart kind child, all without the help of a spouse.
Those who oppose say that 1 person alone cannot properly raise a child. A child needs a mother and father; single parents cannot fill both roles. To try to do so would be a disservice to the child. Single headed households are poorer and less educated than those households with two adults.
So would you ever choose to be a single parent? Why or why not?


baby’s mama

I never wanted to be a ‘baby’s mama’. My image of one was of a high strung woman with rollers in her hair, wearing flip flops, sweatpants and a wife beater, carrying around a baby on her hip going off at her child’s father (where that image came from…I have no idea). So obviously my association of a baby’s mama was a negative one. It assumed the parents did not get along and fighting was their language. The child as a result was the one who suffered.   

Again, I repeat, I never ever ever wanted to be a ‘baby’s mama’. I grew up with just my Mother in the house (thank you mom) and I really appreciate that she never forced me on my….well the guy who is…I don’t consider him part of my family at all, so we’ll call him X. I learned through the years of trying to reach out to him consistently that he couldn’t care less about what I was going through, about what my dress was like for Prom, or the first guy to break my heart, or what College I was applying too, heck that I was even applying to College. I tried so hard for so long for X to acknowledge my existence and take an interest in me, I mean I was his daughter, right?…right? I guess not.  
I never really thought I’d have kids (before I found out I was pregnant), but once I had a child of my own the thought of being a single parent of being a ‘baby’s mama’ never crossed my mind even though my daughter’s father and I didn’t have a solid relationship. We tried to make it work, and it ran smoothly for awhile, but went ka-put right in front of my eyes. And I gotta tell ya, even though I’ve been a ‘baby’s mama’ for about 2 ish years I don’t like it, I don’t like it, I don’t like it. There’s a slight pain in my heart when someone asks if my daughter’s father and I are still together, they hear the no, then give me the ooohh then their eyes graze the floor. That together with my  race and age and I sometimes feel like people assume of course you wouldn’t be with your kids dad…just another stereotype. And I know I shouldn’t care what anyone says…but I can’t help but want to say yes I’m with my daughters father, we are a family. But I cannot tell a lie.  
But you know what…I’m not a baby’s mama, my name is Alex, excuse me, my name is Alexandra and yes my daughter’s father and I are separated, but we are both involved in our daughter’s life and both love her little dancing self to pieces. I sometimes find myself slipping up though; I get a bit flippant and high strung with him sometimes (that’s normal right?)…but you won’t catch me with rollers in my hair :)  
In your experience do baby’s mamas get a bad rap? If so, how come?